recently, i decided that i want to start compiling a list of people i want to punch in the face.
it started out as a potential "top 10" style list, however, i've changed my mind and decided to post them on the fly, as i think of them - as it would be much to difficult to rank the idiocy of each specific person, or type of person - and i'd rather not make one idiot feel better about themself because they were ranked higher than another idiot.
so, let's begin....
episode: one.
PEOPLE WHO WALK LIKE ASSHOLES IN PARKING LOTS
these pieces of shit can do a variety of asshole maneuvers...
like, walk diagonally across the road, which clearly takes longer than going straight across, but you wouldn't expect an idiot to know that.
don't worry, i'll wait here while you take your sweet ass time...
or how about the assholes who walk in the middle of the lane and are too retarded to notice that there's a fucking car behind them trying to get by.
you rev your engine, get real close, try to go around them, but for some reason they continue to not give a fuck.
i hope these people's families get abducted.
then there's the hybrid of the previous, which is even more frustrating...
they walk in the middle of the lane but then realize there's a car behind them, so they walk diagonally, not the shorter distance, but the longer one to the other side of the lane, whilst not even thinking about breaking into the "courtesy jog".
eat shit and live, assholes.
(yes, i said eat shit and live. why would i want them to eat shit and die? i'd feel better about my life knowing they have to live the rest of theirs knowing they ate shit)
**let's stop and talk, briefly, about this courtesy jog i speak of...
this act is certainly no faster than walking, however, it makes me feel like you're less of an asshole, because you're making an effort to make it seem like you're getting out of my way faster.
so, thank you to all those who actively exercise this practice.
for all those who look over their shoulder and keep walking like they don't give a shit...fuck you.
don't be surprised if i hit you with my car AND THEN punch you in the face.
anyways...you get the point...
and you for sure all know what i'm talking about.
also deserving of a punch in the face:
the cousins of people that walk like assholes in parking lots,
PEOPLE WHO WALK LIKE ASSHOLES ACROSS THE STREET!
have i ever told you the story of the time i hit someone with my car?
...to be continued...
