facts of life

old people love coffee.

it could be sunny and 35 degrees celsius out. grandma and grandpa could have just gone for a 30 minute walk, and instead of coming home and drinking big tall glasses of ice water, they'd put the coffee on.

breakfast, lunch and dinner. coffee, coffee and coffee.

i don't get it.

coffee isn't refreshing.
it's not ever going to quench my thirst.
i drink coffee to wake up in the morning. that's it.

how does drinking 26 cups of coffee even make you feel?
no wonder old people are shaky...they're all dehydrated and hopped up on caffeine.

it's fucked.

there were two nice old ladies in for lunch, at the restaurant i work at today, who were the primo stereotypes.

they sit down. order coffees. black.
i drop off their appetizer. bruschetta. more coffee please.
i drop off their meals. shanghai noodle bowls, medium heat. water? nope. more coffee.
i drop off their dessert. more coffee.

not a single drop of water or anything their entire visit.

they consumed a garlicy appetizer. a spicy asian noodle bowl and dessert and you mean to tell me they didn't want a sip of something other than coffee to quench their thirst?!

it boggles my mind.

and what makes it crazier is that they need their coffee to be boiling hot, or it's "not hot enough".
don't you ever want to drink something cold?!
why do they hate water so much?

i should just start bringing old people glasses of water and see if they drink them.
it could be like a science experiment.

but they'd probably all look at me like i was crazy and just ask for more coffee...

i can't wait until i'm old so i can finally understand.