is this real life?

justin bieber has already written an autobiography?

are you fucking kidding me?

he's 16 fucking years old.

how much shit could he honestly have to talk about?

disney is thinking about firing keith richards due to the graphic detail he uses when describing his sex and drug use, in his autobiography...

what's bieber gonna talk about? the first time he got a boner?

ha!

listen to some excerpts from this heaping pile of trash:

i hope the only reason people buy this book...is so they can give it to homeless people to burn to keep warm this winter season.

is this real life?

i wish i could tell you this was fake...

but it's not.

it's an actual voicemail i received a week ago.

check it out:

tell me that shit isn't funny...i dare you.

is this real life?

dear jeff,

PLEASE buy kathy this for her birthday.

please buy me one too, while you're at it. i think i'd look really good. maybe in brown tho? with the fu manchu add on?

you should get one too. you'd clearly need the mario add on though.

three man wolfpack?

sincerely, booya.xo

popular science

in this 'GQ' world we live in, there aren't many things more important to guys like me, than fashion and technology. everyone wants to have the freshest clothes and coolest high tech gadgets, no doubt.

(of course, everyone has their difference of opinion on what really IS fashionable these days. some guys like ed hardy. i think they're idiots. tomato, tomato, potato, potato...whatever...)

that being said...i thought, why has nobody yet tried to join these in holy matrimony? there's certainly a market for such haute couture fashions, isn't there?

i certainly believe so - and i'm positive you will too, momentarily...

step aside, michael kors.

step aside, marc jacobs.

step aside, salvatore ferragamo...

without further ado,

i give you...the most technologically advanced fashion...in the WORLD:

welcome...cjbprime!

that's money in the bank, if you ask me.

**shout outs to cole**

80085

is this real life?

Feminists slam cancer campaign as sexist

Mon Mar 22, 2:35 pm ET

WARSAW (Reuters) – Polish feminists have objected to a hospital's breast cancer prevention slogan which they say encourages workplace harassment, the Gazeta Wyborcza daily said on its website on Monday.

The slogan "I check the breasts of my workers on my own" was devised by a cancer hospital in the southern town of Opole and aimed at convincing employers to encourage their female workers to have their breasts checked regularly for cancer symptoms.

"This is a sexist slogan that obviously brings sexual molestation to mind," the head of the Feminoteka foundation, Joanna Piotrowska, was quoted on the website as saying.

"This campaign treats women as objects and is not far removed from advertisements in which girls flaunt their breasts over car bonnets. I wonder if this would be equally funny if it were changed to 'I check the penises of my workers on my own'."

(Writing by Kuba Jaworowski, editing by Paul Casciato)

the question: would this be equally as funny if the slogan were changed to:

"i check the penises of my workers on my own"?

the answer: yes. it would probably be MORE funny, actually...but i don't think it'd solve your little "workplace harassment" problem though.

back to the drawing board, i guess?