"and you wagered...texas with a dollar sign infront of it"

they say everything's bigger in texas...

is it dick envy?
or because two thirds of the state is overweight/obese?

the exclusive story, featuring, cole "jerry jones aint got shit on me" edmundson.


Celebrity Jeopardy, TEXA$ and ThrEeve sound bite
Take everything you know about the great state of Texas and the people that live there and throw it away.
I have recently returned from a business trip to Dallas and have nothing but positive things to say about my time in Texas. Everyone I interacted with was intelligent and polite.

Common misperceptions:
A. Everyone in Texas is a cowboy and/or wears a cowboy hat and boots
- I didn't see one cowboy hat (I was there for 4 days) you'll see more cowboy hats on a trip to Calgary,AB
B. Everyone in Texas talks like they are half retarded
- Not true, nobody had a stereotypical accent
C. Everyone in Texas is FAT and Severly obese
- I only saw one "hefty" and he was rollin' hard on a rascal scooter

What I did notice:
People in Texas love food and love preparing food more. If you ever have the chance to visit please do me three favours:
1. Enjoy a meal of food at Twin Peaks (
- Anyone want a million dollar idea? Franchise this place in Canada...
2. Eat something that is "Country Fried"
- Seriously, it's delicious...steak, chicken, it doesn't matter
3. Enjoy drinks and a sporting event on TV at 3rd Base (
- More Plasma TV's and Projection screens than Best Buy, 'nuff said

Lastly, everyone has money and a tight whip (please download "
504 Boyz - Tight Whips")
At minimum the entry level car everyone has is a five-series or Lexus LX570.
You'll be passed on the George Bush Turnpike by a 750li travelling at a high rate of speed...what Texans refer to as "Flying Low" and don't be surprised when you see "that Mercedes from the episode of 'Top Gear' you just downloaded"



Cole said...

By far the best blog post on the internet

Juliana Nabutuwa said...