2.08.2010

"and you wagered...texas with a dollar sign infront of it"


they say everything's bigger in texas...

is it dick envy?
or because two thirds of the state is overweight/obese?

the exclusive story, featuring, cole "jerry jones aint got shit on me" edmundson.

enjoy.

Celebrity Jeopardy, TEXA$ and ThrEeve sound bite
$texas:
Take everything you know about the great state of Texas and the people that live there and throw it away.
I have recently returned from a business trip to Dallas and have nothing but positive things to say about my time in Texas. Everyone I interacted with was intelligent and polite.

Common misperceptions:
A. Everyone in Texas is a cowboy and/or wears a cowboy hat and boots
- I didn't see one cowboy hat (I was there for 4 days) you'll see more cowboy hats on a trip to Calgary,AB
B. Everyone in Texas talks like they are half retarded
- Not true, nobody had a stereotypical accent
C. Everyone in Texas is FAT and Severly obese
- I only saw one "hefty" and he was rollin' hard on a rascal scooter

What I did notice:
People in Texas love food and love preparing food more. If you ever have the chance to visit please do me three favours:
1. Enjoy a meal of food at Twin Peaks (
http://www.twinpeaksrestaurant.com/)
- Anyone want a million dollar idea? Franchise this place in Canada...
2. Eat something that is "Country Fried"
- Seriously, it's delicious...steak, chicken, it doesn't matter
3. Enjoy drinks and a sporting event on TV at 3rd Base (
http://www.thirdbase-sportsbar.com/)
- More Plasma TV's and Projection screens than Best Buy, 'nuff said

Lastly, everyone has money and a tight whip (please download "
504 Boyz - Tight Whips")
At minimum the entry level car everyone has is a five-series or Lexus LX570.
You'll be passed on the George Bush Turnpike by a 750li travelling at a high rate of speed...what Texans refer to as "Flying Low" and don't be surprised when you see "that Mercedes from the episode of 'Top Gear' you just downloaded"

-Cole

2 comments:

Cole said...

By far the best blog post on the internet

Juliana Nabutuwa said...

Nice